A song by Oscar Brand
“Wet Before, Wet Behind
We’re the members of the Wet Pants Club”
I was young, I was dry,
But to sail I would go,
One hour on the water
I was wet down below.
Though I tried, I couldn’t hide
from my Mother’s piercing view
But all she would say
Was, “A big boy like you!”
Many times I resolved
To return home dry,
I’d stand through the cruise
with my pants hitched high.
Then I’d feel those icy fingers
up and down my spine,
and the same old witchcraft
When the bilge meets mine.
Once we sailed for the cup,
and we best England’s pride.
We took off our clothes,
‘Til the trousers were dry.
When our clothes were displayed
To the crowds curious stare,
They struck up the chorus
of the London-Derriere
My last voyage out ,
Steady breeze, Quiet Day.
We drank to the absence,
Of the white cap and the spray.
As I opened the beer,
It fell from my hand;
And I stood there once again
With a cold, damp can.

FUN FACT:  Wet Pants was founded in 1934, The Wet Pants Club song was released in 1960.

Oscar Brand was a Canadian born American folk singer who lived his final years here on Long Island, NY.  He hosted the longest running radio program in history for over 70 years on the New York public radio station WYNC, right up until his death in 2016.

He wrote at least 300 songs and nearly 100 albums.  The song Wet Pants Club was part of an album he release in 1960 on vinyl, titled “Boating Songs and All That Bilge” through Elektra Records.  Oscar Brand’s album is a lighthearted nod to sailors, clubs and the sea.  See the full album here.

Hear an audio of the song through the Youtube link below.